Sarah such a great read. I find this show so incredibly fascinating for a lot of the reasons you name here. When I watched the first season I was so horrified by that list of rules they have in the opening title. I just started the second season and was happy that in the first episode they have a couple of the new women saying how those are a bit outdated. So maybe it is possible to change society, but oh it goes so slowly and meanwhile we’re all just oppressed by these beauty norms even if we have no desire to try to partake in them.
Being a man, this would be a minefield for me to step into. I do appreciate the nuance that you bring to the topic. And one of the things I like about your writing is how you continuously question yourself and your assumptions, maybe not changing your mind, but loosening your grip on your beliefs.
I will say I usually find the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader/Barbie look uninteresting. I don’t consider it beautiful, but a caricature of beauty. However, there are real people inside these white boots. Their motivations are varied, as you say.
As I grew out of adolescence and became less hormone driven I realized that what made a woman attractive to me was her intelligence, wit, curiosity, physicality, compassion, and such. These attributes in women, in anybody really, are what makes me want to spend time with them.
Finally, bringing in the Buddhist perspective is always useful. We will lose everything, so don’t hold on too tightly.
Really appreciate this, Kevin. Thanks for the kind words about my writing – "loosening your grip on your beliefs" – yes! Also Buddhist in the sense of being aware of the narratives we cling to.
Whether it's true or not that being smart is superior to being pretty, it turns out you can't take either one with you into middle age.
Attractiveness peaks at about 20 for women and 30 for men. Intelligence peaks at 27.
I'm 40 and can detect a steep decline this year in both my below-average attractiveness and my above-average intelligence. Oh well.
What I have successfully taken with me into middle age is a devoted husband, three children, the skills to care for them and myself, the good influence I'm having on their most formative years, and a lifestyle we can afford on a single income.
My advice to those in their 20s would be to leverage both their beauty and their intelligence toward attaining those more lasting assets. That may sound calculated, but in my teens and twenties I heard too much of the opposite: wait for God to bring you your one true love; don't take initiative or make any plans for your life; just keep getting educational degrees until God tells you what to do with them. Around age 25 I woke up and decided to hell with it, I wanted to have a family, so I asked out my future husband.
Ah, the complexity of parenthood! Written with nuance, curiosity, and honesty! I enjoyed this, feel for you, can relate.
Thank you, Patricia!
Sarah such a great read. I find this show so incredibly fascinating for a lot of the reasons you name here. When I watched the first season I was so horrified by that list of rules they have in the opening title. I just started the second season and was happy that in the first episode they have a couple of the new women saying how those are a bit outdated. So maybe it is possible to change society, but oh it goes so slowly and meanwhile we’re all just oppressed by these beauty norms even if we have no desire to try to partake in them.
Yes, Anna, so much this! I wish I could hold like a feminist roundtable discussion on this show, ha! SO MUCH going on here.
Please do this!! :)
Being a man, this would be a minefield for me to step into. I do appreciate the nuance that you bring to the topic. And one of the things I like about your writing is how you continuously question yourself and your assumptions, maybe not changing your mind, but loosening your grip on your beliefs.
I will say I usually find the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader/Barbie look uninteresting. I don’t consider it beautiful, but a caricature of beauty. However, there are real people inside these white boots. Their motivations are varied, as you say.
As I grew out of adolescence and became less hormone driven I realized that what made a woman attractive to me was her intelligence, wit, curiosity, physicality, compassion, and such. These attributes in women, in anybody really, are what makes me want to spend time with them.
Finally, bringing in the Buddhist perspective is always useful. We will lose everything, so don’t hold on too tightly.
Really appreciate this, Kevin. Thanks for the kind words about my writing – "loosening your grip on your beliefs" – yes! Also Buddhist in the sense of being aware of the narratives we cling to.
Indeed
🩷
Whether it's true or not that being smart is superior to being pretty, it turns out you can't take either one with you into middle age.
Attractiveness peaks at about 20 for women and 30 for men. Intelligence peaks at 27.
I'm 40 and can detect a steep decline this year in both my below-average attractiveness and my above-average intelligence. Oh well.
What I have successfully taken with me into middle age is a devoted husband, three children, the skills to care for them and myself, the good influence I'm having on their most formative years, and a lifestyle we can afford on a single income.
My advice to those in their 20s would be to leverage both their beauty and their intelligence toward attaining those more lasting assets. That may sound calculated, but in my teens and twenties I heard too much of the opposite: wait for God to bring you your one true love; don't take initiative or make any plans for your life; just keep getting educational degrees until God tells you what to do with them. Around age 25 I woke up and decided to hell with it, I wanted to have a family, so I asked out my future husband.