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Julia D.'s avatar

Whether it's true or not that being smart is superior to being pretty, it turns out you can't take either one with you into middle age.

Attractiveness peaks at about 20 for women and 30 for men. Intelligence peaks at 27.

I'm 40 and can detect a steep decline this year in both my below-average attractiveness and my above-average intelligence. Oh well.

What I have successfully taken with me into middle age is a devoted husband, three children, the skills to care for them and myself, the good influence I'm having on their most formative years, and a lifestyle we can afford on a single income.

My advice to those in their 20s would be to leverage both their beauty and their intelligence toward attaining those more lasting assets. That may sound calculated, but in my teens and twenties I heard too much of the opposite: wait for God to bring you your one true love; don't take initiative or make any plans for your life; just keep getting educational degrees until God tells you what to do with them. Around age 25 I woke up and decided to hell with it, I wanted to have a family, so I asked out my future husband.

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Patricia Zaballos's avatar

Ah, the complexity of parenthood! Written with nuance, curiosity, and honesty! I enjoyed this, feel for you, can relate.

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