What is this?
Terms of endearment is a publication of mini-essays about trying, failing, and trying again to be a more mindful human being.
What do you mean, mindful, you ask, you who does not need another How To Optimize/Hack/Achieve/Happify/Glorify/Systemize Your Life Manual; you who dreads being ironically asked to do anything with your third eye; you who immediately slams the laptop shut upon being whispered to have a cup of nettle tea and relax; you who feels alienated from the culture at large, uncertain about it all, frustrated with all the familiar formulas and prescriptions and shoulds and narratives; you who are starting to question what exactly it all means and where it’s heading; you who wants, perhaps, liberation, wildness, freshness, joy? What does it mean? This is what it means to me:
becoming more aware of the choices, patterns, and habits that define us, and the often hidden but massively influential cultural and societal forces that shape us
finding a little bit more calm, a little bit more presence and awareness, a little bit more space in which to respond with care
exploring, defining, and questioning concepts like integrity, success, care, art, achievement, and community
the creative ways we might release ourselves from oppressive systems
Also: hound dogs, birth, books, travel, hanging out at Swedish bathhouses, riding Mexican bulls, raising chickens, parenting, and more.
Why subscribe?
Make a little clearing in the center of your life. A place where you can step back, take a deep breath, see what’s there, and begin again.
Paid subscribers receive essays, reading recommendations and reviews, and inspiration in the form of photo essays, interviews, and more.
Who are you?
I’m Sarah. I’m the author of Ordinary Insanity: Fear and the Silent Crisis of Motherhood in America (Pantheon, 2020) and Homing Instincts (Pantheon, 2017).
My essays and journalism have appeared in Harper’s, the New York Times, the New York Times Book Review, Pacific Standard, the Guardian, the Los Angeles Times, the Washington Post, Time, the Paris Review Daily, the Kenyon Review, Aeon, Guernica, and elsewhere.
I was a Fulbright Fellow in Oaxaca, Mexico, and have received other fellowships and support from the Ohioana Foundation, Creative Nonfiction, and the DART Center at Columbia University.
For over five years, I ran a nonprofit magazine of nonfiction written by women called Vela. Vela received praise from NPR, the New Yorker, Outside, and numerous other publications, and many Vela writers went on to publish books with major publishers. (Hi, Heather! Hi, Eva! Hi, Simone! Hi, Katie!)
I spent most of my twenties abroad, teaching English and living on a shoestring budget in Latin America, Asia, the French island of La Réunion, and, finally, Oaxaca, Mexico, where I met my husband and settled for five years. I finally dragged myself back to the U.S. for grad school (an MFA in nonfiction writing at the University of Pittsburgh).
Now, I split my time between Pittsburgh, PA, and Oaxaca, trying to squeeze in as much travel as an artist’s budget will allow. I am a mother, a runner, a devoted daily meditator, and a superfan of chickens – the animal, that is, not the food. If you follow me on Instagram (@familiasantiago) you’ll know I’m obsessed.
Nice things people/places have said about my work:
“Searing....Menkedick is a skilled storyteller and her accounts of women from varied socioeconomic and racial backgrounds drive home how little society has to offer mothers....Her wide-ranging narrative touches on everything from neurobiology to politics and psychology, and it mirrors what anxiety feels like.” —the New York Times Book Review
"Menkedick is a superb storyteller, and her writing is filled with remarkable scientific and literary references." —Publishers Weekly
“explosive, keenly observed…Meticulously constructed, [Ordinary Insanity] interweaves personal narrative and profiles of new mothers with historical research and medical reporting.” — Library Journal, starred review
“[Homing Instincts] is the book I would want to share with new moms I know today, because Menkedick renders this experience of self-discovery through pregnancy and motherhood with such vulnerability, intelligence, and grace.” — Literary Mama
“[Homing Instincts] is a lovely exercise in self-inquiry that will resonate with mothers-to-be.” —Bookpage
Why subscribe to Terms of Endearment?
Because all change begins with awareness, self-love, and acceptance. Until we are willing to see things as they are, to recognize ourselves and our patterns, no change is possible.
Because we live in a culture and society that move too quickly, that are all about opinion and consumption and reactivity – we need, instead, reflection, that crucial and tender pause between our habitual response and what is possible for us.
Because we need slower living.
Because the changes necessary to confront climate change and the existential crises facing our planet start in our own minds and lives.
Because we can all choose to live a little more freely, a little more kindly, with a little bit more openness and wildness, starting now.
